Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Making Connections

Last night Chris and I had dinner with Phil Claycomb, the director of a church planting organization in Texas, and Bob Wood the director of Oregon Christian Evangelistic Fellowship, who also plants churches. We enjoyed an nice dinner and afterwards began discussing our vision for Portland and possible paths to get there.
I will have to admit that going into this dinner, I was not particularly excited. As a team we have taken some hits over the past few months, and as a result, we have been able to spend very little time focusing on the future. In many ways not focusing on it has been a good thing. The more I focus on the things I can't control, the more things like worry and doubt take over my mind. In other ways, it has made it seem more and more as if this vision will never become a reality. So going into our "meeting" last night, I was just afraid that we were opening ourselves up to another blow. Chris however, was optimistic as usual, and he was right.
The conversation revolved around when we were moving, what our vision is, where we will live, possible places to get experience in Portland or surrounding ares, possible people and organizations to get connected with, etc. I don't have any incredible news to report, or any great developments to inform you of, but for me, the overall encouraging tone of the evening was a huge blessing. I have found myself so discouraged and doubtful lately, and I needed someone, anyone, to talk to us as if they were on our side, as if they believed that God could or would choose to use us. Physically we left with a business card, a couple names, and a phone number, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I know at least I left with a renewed sense of calling, and affirmation that the Lord is with us. I was reminded in such a subtle way that when the Lord calls you to do something, He will not leave you without the means to get it done.

Plus, there was great soup and good coffee. :)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Its beginning...

to look a lot like Christmas around the Haney (Jewett, Bair) house. Actually we have had our Christmas decor up since Thanksgiving evening. I love our Christmas trees. I love Christmas trees in general.

It is sometimes hard for me to get into the "Christmas spirit" here. Yesterday, for example, Chris was wearing shorts! It was December 14th for goodness sake! I have been counting down the days till I get to go home to the freezing cold and spend Christmas with my family. I still am counting down (7 days to go...yay!), but this week as I was taking pictures of my Christmas trees, I was reminded that Jesus is far bigger than the fact that there is no snow on the ground, and my husband is in shorts. Christmas is about celebrating the fact that God loved us so incredibly much that he sent a tiny baby to rescue us all from a life without Him. It seems so silly to get caught up in the little things that aren't really about Christmas at all. So here are a few of those pictures from our Christmas tree trimmings.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Okay, so I can't quite figure out why I have become such a bad blogger. Well, actually, I can't ever really claim that I was a good one, but I am certainly worse than I have previously been. It seems that I have found myself in a rather dry place with nothing worth writing about. This though, is in fact not true. There are plenty of things going on in my life (plenty of great things, plenty of crappy things), yet throughout all of them I am finding myself unmoved. Thus, I am not motivated to write.
Why is it that we come to those places? Why is it that we go through spells where it simply seems like we are on autopilot? I'm not even sure how apathy begins to creep in. Do we invite it? Does it come as a result of laziness? Or maybe its a defense mechanism? (I can't remember needing to defend myself from something.) And, how do you get rid of it?
It is an awfully unfortunate thing to be apathetic and numb around the holidays. It seems there is so much to savor and enjoy, not the least of which is the very reason we celebrate Christmas. But, here I am, aware that this time of the year I should be celebrating my Savior, finding myself unable to mean it, unable to feel it.
I am not ungrateful. Or, maybe I am. Maybe if I were truly grateful I wouldn't be in this dull and lifeless place. Whatever the case, I do not believe myself to be unappreciative of Christ and the incredible gift he has given me. I am just stuck. I am stuck, and apathetic, and growing more and more stagnant...and from what I know, stagnancy leads to death. I think I desperately need to figure out how to get "unstuck".