Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Stuck

Okay, so I can't quite figure out why I have become such a bad blogger. Well, actually, I can't ever really claim that I was a good one, but I am certainly worse than I have previously been. It seems that I have found myself in a rather dry place with nothing worth writing about. This though, is in fact not true. There are plenty of things going on in my life (plenty of great things, plenty of crappy things), yet throughout all of them I am finding myself unmoved. Thus, I am not motivated to write.
Why is it that we come to those places? Why is it that we go through spells where it simply seems like we are on autopilot? I'm not even sure how apathy begins to creep in. Do we invite it? Does it come as a result of laziness? Or maybe its a defense mechanism? (I can't remember needing to defend myself from something.) And, how do you get rid of it?
It is an awfully unfortunate thing to be apathetic and numb around the holidays. It seems there is so much to savor and enjoy, not the least of which is the very reason we celebrate Christmas. But, here I am, aware that this time of the year I should be celebrating my Savior, finding myself unable to mean it, unable to feel it.
I am not ungrateful. Or, maybe I am. Maybe if I were truly grateful I wouldn't be in this dull and lifeless place. Whatever the case, I do not believe myself to be unappreciative of Christ and the incredible gift he has given me. I am just stuck. I am stuck, and apathetic, and growing more and more stagnant...and from what I know, stagnancy leads to death. I think I desperately need to figure out how to get "unstuck".

1 comments:

Greggerjo said...

Maybe this only works for me. When I'm stuck (I call it 'tired'), I like to read stories of greatness. Here are a couple that get me going....

Zach Hunter
=or=
The Zambia Project